For Valentine's day my parents surprised us with tickets to Paul Cardall's first concert back after having his heart transplant only a few months ago. He titled it "A Celebration of Life." It was amazing! For those who don't know about Paul, he is a local musician who was also born with CHD. You can read his story here. Back in April 2009, my family attended a benefit concert in honor of Paul. I remember sitting in this concert crying for him and his family. I remember the video of pictures he played of babies also born with CHD, some of them surviving the disease and others "angels" as Paul calls them. I remember him playing his song Gracie's theme, and how he explained that it was a song he wrote for a little girl who almost made it to be a year old, but passed away after her body didn't accept the new heart she was given. I again remember crying for those babies and for those families. Little did I know as I sat in that concert, I sat there with a baby in my belly that would be just like the babies I was looking at on the screen. At the time I didn't even know I was pregnant.
Monday night as we walked into Abravanel Hall to attend Paul's concert I became very overwhelmed. Instantly my eyes filled with tears and I felt myself leaning on Jeff to support me as I took it all in. I thought we were going to have to leave. I thought that it might have been too soon. Paul held a silent auction to raise money for families with children who have CHD. Upon walking in the room we could see items everywhere up for auction. In front of these items were pictures of babies who had scars that matched Gracelyn's. They were everywhere. Paul had a video playing on the monitors of heart babies. We saw people we knew from the hospital volunteering. All of a sudden I realized this was now OUR world. We are now one of "them."
As Paul walked out onto the stage he received a standing ovation. You could tell exactly where his wife and little girl sat. For the longest time he didn't take his eyes off of them. He sat down and played flawlessly. He was amazing! I would have imagined that many of the people in the audience were personally affected by CHD in their family. However, at one point Paul asked for those of us who had family members with CHD to clap. I was surprised at how few there were in the audience and then I was felt saddened by how many there were going through what we are going through. The minute we sat down I knew we were seated behind another heart mom. She looked just as overwhelmed as I felt. I wanted to talk to her, but was too scared I would loose it completely if I did. She and I both cried through the whole performance. I held onto Jeff nearly the whole show, as I have relied on him to be the strength for us both since her diagnoses.
Paul played his own songs, but toward the end he played his own rendition of I know that my Redeemer lives. At that moment I knew that we needed to be there. It wasn't too soon. The spirit that was present during the concert was amazing. Paul's faith and gratitude to God is overwhelming. His positive attitude is contagious. His fight to live provides strength to me and others. At the end of the concert his little girl ran out on the stage and hugged him, followed by his wife. He then ended the concert with his song November. I left the show feeling stronger and believing in the grace of God, more that I have since we began this journey. I am grateful to my parents for giving us this great opportunity. It gave me such great hope that, though she is sick, Gracelyn can still (and will) live and amazing life. Thank you Mom and Dad! Love you both!
Where to even start
7 months ago